Wednesday, July 24, 2013

About Me

About me:

Even when I was a small child I could not stomach things like eating early in the morning before work, or taking vitamins on an empty stomach. As life when on I just figured I was eating poorly and as a result my stomach was paying for it. You know those days when you crap fast food with coffee, then snacks in the office donuts and more coffee, then fast food lunch, 3 pm snacks to keep from falling asleep in of your monitor while in your cubicle, rush home to eat more fast food, and then in my case spend the rest of the night popping tums, eating ginger or peppermint candy, and even some nights hugging the toilet wishing to die. Whenever I got really sick, I assumed I had the 24-hour bug or food poisoning, and didn’t think much of it. I had a weak stomach and it became a day-to-day thing, which I actually got used to!

So now fast forward to August 10th, 2012, fed up with the stomach pains I went to see a specialist a nutritionist. I already believe in alternative medicine and taking herbs to cure ailments, so going to a nutritionist was not a far stretch, but I thought going to a nutritionist meant I was looking to learn how to eat healthy to lose weight. I had & have no intention of doing that. So I go to my nutritionist and she started off by pricking my finger, so she can smear some of my blood on a glass slide. This was something new for me. Afterwards she connected her microscope to a monitor like for a computer, and there in black and white I saw what looked like a long worm inching around. She told me that was my blood and they were clumped together unable to absorb any nutrients, because in so many words I was eating crap, and they were unable to do their job. So from there we did “Applied Kinesiology”. What we did was I held various foods, like corn kernels, and soy beans, and a few other things in little Dixie like cups, and she put her fingers on my wrist to feel if my heart rate increased while holding the cups of food. If my heart rate did increase, that meant that my muscles were tensing up, and in essence my body would not process that food item, and do it’s best to expel that item like a poison. 

It turned out that I am allergic to 29 food items, and they are:
Grains
Barley, Corn, Flax, Gluten, Wheat
Beans
Soy
Fruit/Veg
Eggplant, Mushrooms, Oranges, Peppers, Pepinos, Pimentoes, Potatoes, Raisins, Tamarios, Tomatillos, Tomatoes
Nuts/Seeds
Peanuts, Sesame, Walnuts
Sugars
Aspartame, Saccharin
Misc
brewers yeast, egg yolks, paprika, sulfites, green tea, Textured Vegetable Protein, whole cow's milk

At first I was in utter shock, if I can’t eat those items what on earth am I supposed to eat? I purged all the food in my house, everything from my deep freezer, to my medicine cabinet. Amazingly some of the food items had not 1 bot 4 or 5 of the ingredients in it making me sick from morning to night, and I was upset about what CRAP I was really eating. 15 paper sacks later my fridge, and cabinets were empty.

Then I panicked. My kitchen was empty what was I supposed to eat? Everything I enjoyed eating was on the list of cannot eat. So from there I went online and started reading healthy gluten free, dairy free, grain free blogs, and here I am today. Feeling like night and day from my previous life. Every day is a struggle, I have gotten into a routines of foods I know I can eat and only spend about 30 mins in the health food store. At first I would spend 2+ hours in the health food store and read every single label and have mini melt downs / pity party’s when I would read every cereal box and find out there was no cereal I could eat, because even at a health food store all the cereals would have at least 1 ingredient that I was allergic to. Thoughts of eating honey nut cheerios or rice crispy treats were no longer an option and I had no idea what I was going to do.

Since then, the pity party’s no longer happen. I walk in with a shopping list for the food projects I want to accomplish that month, plus the favorites, and the staples that I buy every month, even if we have enough in the house already.

I have made friends with the staff of the health food store, and when they ask at check out if I found everything I wanted, I still answer, “No”, because there is still no cereal on their shelves that I can eat, and the same goes for “Asian dressing” because all “Asian dressings” have soy and/or sesame in them and I can’t have soy or sesame, essential ingredients to make that dressing “Asian”, but I still have my hopes and my taste buds to deal with.






Monday, June 10, 2013

Life as I know it

I have sort-of gotten into a routine of life as it is now.

I got terminated from my last "real" job that was on the books, and I got a "real" pay stub 10/21/2010. I only remember this date as it was the same day as my parents 32nd wedding anniversary. I never could remember what date their anniversary was until that day I was terminated.

I honestly, don't remember 2011 at all. It came up during last week's therapy session. My therapist asked me when I was fired? A simple question, but my mind was in fog. Was is 2011 or 2010? 2010 seemed like so long ago.

Slowly, my mind worked through the fog, and bits and pieces came to me, as I spent most of the weekend piecing it back together, Like doing a puzzle with the blank cardboard pieces up, and then turning over the puzzle after it was put back together.

Being terminated..... going to court... being denied unemployment benefits... big gap..... starting my dental implants. I remember it was November 28th that my dental implant process started so what happened between Jan of 2010 and the end of November 2010? I honestly couldn't tell you.

I told my therapist it was like that file of my brain was removed, and I don't recall a single thing.


Fast forward today. I am settled into my new daily / weekly routine.

Monday: clean my house before 10 am
Tuesday: water the yard, and weed, and dead head any of the plants
Wednesday: clean, work on a food project or eliminate clutter by going through a junk box, or condense stuff
Thursday: water the yard, weed, trim back the overgrowth
Friday: clean, finish the project of the week
Saturday: water the yard, transplant anything that looks like it is not happy where it is.
Sunday: Day of rest... HA HA HA - get out of the house before I can get stuck doing something I don't want to do like clean or do laundry or water the yard. Stay out as long as possible sometimes not returning home until 2-3 in the am.

I have been looking for work for the past couple of weeks. Looking online at various job websites. Keeping a MS-Word log of where I am applying and pasting the info into the log. I don't need to turn it it, but it keeps me from re-applying to the same jobs if the employer / staffer is cross posting.

After I was putting away some laundry tonight I wondered if I could return to the office after being out of it for so long? I still have all of my office wardrobe, although now it is over 5 yrs old, and probably not as trendy as everyone's current office attire. But black skirts can always be worn with cute lil tops, and if needed after I get back into the swing of things; I can update my look. I'm not worried about that part. I always dressed on the conservative side, which is good my clothing can last from one trend to another.

I'm worried about being able to conform back to sitting in a cubical all day long. My current life is where I'm on my feet most of the day doing something, some days when I am doing back to back food projects I don't sit for 4-6 hours. And in the office you sit for 8 hrs + only getting up to use the restroom or get something off of the printer. I remember those long boring days all too well. How on earth did I do it?